In this article I outline how you can facilitate change when your sacred relationship path isn’t bringing you the result you desire.

If your current situation or status in love feels discordant, miserable or doesn’t please you, there are two simple choices.

  1. Allow the discordance, misery or displeasure to continue.
  2. Decide that the discordance, misery or displeasure must cease.

I feel it’s fair to say that when we’re called to the Sacred Relationship path, what happens on this journey matters very much. We feel it intensely. It is a Soul calling so we can’t just let it go. Lack of alignment with the love of our Souls will come up again and again until we pay attention because that’s how we human beings roll when it comes to our heart and soul lessons.

So what does all this mean?

Perhaps it means choosing to feel different about what you believe to be fixed, thereby finding acceptance, peace or a new perspective about the current reality. Your feeling changes; the reality does not. Hmm…does that really work for you? 

Perhaps this means taking action to transform particular practicalities (external factors) in your situation that seem to lie at the root of the issue and therefore experience something better. Practicalities change; but you stay the same until you see evidence of change. Hmm…does that really work either?

However we decide to look at our dilemmas, the simple answer is that EVERY solution starts with YOU. But what’s really going on? I’m seeing visions of chickens and eggs in this dialogue…

You’re being called to notice and take ownership of the discordance, misery or displeasure.

You’re being invited to find clarity on whether you truly desire to experience something different and exactly what that will feel like.

You’re being challenged to stop tolerating what doesn’t serve, bargaining with yourself or accepting less than a loving reality filled with the harmony, joy and pleasure that you deserve.

Sometimes it’s just not appropriate or aligned to simply choose to feel differently about your situation. When feeling differently about a situation you believe to be fixed means turning a blind eye to abuse, losing yourself in a codependent relationship dynamic or accepting constant rejection you may find yourself burying your unmet needs and deferring yourself. There’s a risk you choose to become a martyr, deny the truth, lower your standards or expectations and experience life from a fallback position of low self worth.

I notice many souls who’ve attached to Twin Flame and Soulmate unrequited love stories falling into this trap. Transcendence becomes a mask for dissociation. Surrender to a Higher Power or the Divine Plan becomes a mask for powerless reliance on fate and destiny. #SameOldStory

When this happens Twin Flame and Soulmate stories take on the distorted toxicity of spiritual bypassing and you live a reality of resistance and delusion that is incompatible with your expansion or spiritual growth.

Sometimes fighting to change the practicalities of your situation also proves fruitless without any internal change behind it. You may encounter the resistance of your other person or discover that in your current paradigm, certain factors appear fixed. This may seem to manifest a frustrating reality with the same problems surfacing in new, equally painful ways and your less than ideal experience becomes the status quo.

The irony in all this is that your Twin Flame or Soulmate experience can halt your personal ascension process and you move further away from the Oneness you crave rather than step closer to that blissful wholeness you’re seeking.

When you awaken to the fact that all solutions start with YOU, the inner work becomes your focus and you stop fixating on any and every other person, situation or distraction.


As you transform, new thoughts and feelings will inform new behaviours that will shift and elevate your situation. 

You learn that there is a Soul aligned feedback loop that’s been waiting for you all along. Your entire experience can be transformed – situations and feelings will be different. You discover that you can move mountains.

When you engage with change starting with YOU, the experience becomes a matter of Soul-flow

You may be surprised that what you believed was ‘meant for you’ actually looks, feels and manifests differently from your initial expectations and you may be shocked by the shift in vision that your new, higher vibrational perspective offers you. 

Where to start? 

Drop your attachment to ‘the story’, release your resistance to the truth and ask yourself what really matters.

Where is your journey really leading you? And if you cannot identify ‘where’ this might be, close your eyes, breathe into your belly and connect with that familiar blissful feeling of warm, loving wholeness that flows from your centre. Strip away the idea it’s attached to a specific person or a set of circumstances and own the fact that it belongs solely to your ‘I AM’ presence. And if your ‘I AM’ presence seems elusive to you, then reclaiming it as your birthright is where to begin.

As you connect with this possibility, I see you standing at the bottom of a spiral staircase that leads to the core of your heart where true love resides. That’s where your Divine Union has been hiding. When you get there, your true Twin Flame or Soulmate experience will materialise. 

So…when are you going to take the first step?

Until next time

Rhian xoxo

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